We dance till the sun rise

2009-08-19T13:10:00.001+08:00

Moved to wordpress cause blogger has been giving me problems.
Click.

2009-08-18T02:04:00.002+08:00

Part of me miss my student life,part of me just want to stay home,finishing meds and watch DVDs I just bought.10 to be exact.But......I miss having pocket money more.School's in bitches.And I wish I was a boy so I won't have to change suffer menstruation cramps.Balls.

I want.........don't change your mind and praying hard for these 2 weeks to come.BAM!
2 years to achieve my long to-do list.Must.Do.Or.Die.
Au Revoir

Guys,i miss you.Sooooooo busy.....

2009-08-08T20:04:00.002+08:00

The last time I felt like this was 1st January 2008.I should just sleep inside the toilet tonight because plastic bags are just erghh.
Bye

2009-08-07T00:44:00.003+08:00

So its finally 7 august and its someone's birthday.Someone speesshulll.hahaha
Someone I tell everything too.And someone who always agree with me :)

And i just realised we havent took a proper photo for 64289847 years.Haha.21 uh 21.

Happy birthday Diyana Jamaludin.Iizlovingyou.LAWL

secret love

2009-08-03T01:45:00.003+08:00

Today suck balls.I asked about 10 people for good movie recommendation and all they give me is bullshit.But I appreciate it.Anyway,about an hour ago..I had a deep conversation with my Mum.About my brother,my sister, some family whose coming over next week from KL and saying fuck in front of me.I hope they bring Remy along.I spend my whole Sunday cleaning the living room and watch OC,yet again.
Dude,I'll never get sick of that will I?Just one more episode and I'm off to my sliding bed.Damn kids.

Oh,saying I love you has never been so cliche like this but I don't care.I wish I could say the same thing back.
Au revoir

today shouldn't happen

2009-08-01T02:33:00.000+08:00

Today,no just now,I was having a drink in the kitchen,in the dark and my Mum came out of her room.While washing her mug,she asked whether I was alright.I said yes.She's still not convinced.She asked if I'd argue with my dad or sister.I said no.She's still not convinced because I was drinking in the dark.I told her,problems don't come from this family only.I have my own issues too.Personal issues.She left the kitchen with a smile and turned off the lights.Leaving me in the dark.

No,I really don't have a problem.I just wanted to save the electricity but I think my Mum thinks I'm crazy.-FML

Today,I fell in love from across the opposite block-FML

2009-07-29T23:38:00.003+08:00

Today,after procrastinating for so long,I finally dyed my hair to a natural colour.
My Mum almost wanted to steal my hair dye cause its been on the drawer for too long.
Today,I had a test and I think I screwed it up.
Today,I think I fell.Again
No,yesterday,today,tomorrow or whenever,I still cannot stop thinking of you.I don't care if I sound fucking cliche but that what feelings do to you.
Your legs must be tired...because you've been running through my mind the whole day.HA HA HA
Lets revise some OSA shits and pretend I love it.
Au revoir

I got bored and I got this

2009-07-29T01:02:00.000+08:00

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Deception and truth

2009-07-25T03:30:00.004+08:00

I don't care where you're gonna be next year, I don't care if you're crazy, god. I just know I wanna be with you, I don't understand what you're doing, it seems so pointless, I mean everything seems so pointless but when I'm with you it's different, and I don't know why.

Celebrate destruction

2009-07-23T20:46:00.004+08:00

This week was sick.I was actually.I'm okay now but the cough is still itching my throat.My Mum is still not talking to me.I've thought so many times of apologising but this ego inside me is making me take a step back.I know I sound like a bad daughter which I think I am but I just need the guts to talk to her and make things around the house normal.

My life is nothing but just emptying boxes,going to school that last for 3 hours,going out with my friends for the sake of getting out of the house and just daydreaming.Life rules.My room is going to look like an 8-year old kid's bedroom soon.3 level bunk beds in blue that has Disney stickers on,with massive toy cars on the shelf and colour pencils all over the floor.I'm patiently waiting for National Day holidays.Don't know what I'll do on that day but I know I'll be out with my friends.Its a tradition that has been going on since 2004.

Have you ever did something you really regret and realise its too late when you're crying on your bedroom floor in the dark?Why this fuckery?In other words,my life sucks.Not just yours.
So,you are not alone.I am here with you.I think I will force myself to sleep now.May the force be with you...and me.

xoxo
nabsxzilla firefox.

the salt it filled my eyes

2009-07-15T23:27:00.005+08:00

Overdue bills are over.Internet is back,life is still not falling back into place.I have a paper tomorrow but words won't get to my brain.This feels like a year ago,when I stress out about papers after papers.I need a better paying job.My demands are getting higher and I think now,I need to be independant.

I don't get it how someone can be such a paradox.Its absurd when you say things like that and don't think it would actually bite my heart.

I wish you were never my friend.I wish I never knew you but I appreciate all the great things you've done.I really do but you don't deserve a good friend like me and I'm not joking.

Calm like you,water

2009-07-12T18:12:00.000+08:00

My modem died on me.I don't really care anyway.My plan today was to go to the library,finish up my assignments and pick up my book but I end up here,sitting on the bench at the resevoir.I feel like a fool but I know I'm not making a fool of myself.This maid and her manwhore at the next bench should get their earwax out since they're literally shouting than talking.Sweet conversation 8)

My house is jam-packed with my brother's stuff.His sweet xbox is here.I just need money to buy the l4d game.Too lazy to ask when the no. 2 is coming out.Need a new laptop or desktop.Too broke now and my overdue bills are here.Life was so much better when we were 5.

Tomorrow will be better.
I hope...

Fireworks in my head

2009-07-01T23:01:00.002+08:00

I haven't post something decent for a long time.Its usually some pictures and 'HAHAHA'.
No one even read anymore nowadays,but hey..when I grow old and this thing is still here,I don't have to worry about forgetting who I am.

My term break is ending soon,and I haven't done much except working and spend Saturdays with friends.The other days are spent alone in my room or in front the television.The only thing I watch is 9pm at Channel 8 and Nurkasih.I can't help but mention about it.This is the very first time I'm really into a Malay drama,which I should years ago.Looking forward to Friday!I totally forgot about my projects and I have to meet my team mates at Woodlands tomorrow.

I live in the East.
I'm working tomorrow and there's no way I'm getting out of it

But I gave in and sacrifice my sleep to meet them,haha.Its good to be nice sometimes.Speaking of work,can anyone tutor English to that pinoy?Haha,I'm not being mean but I seriously cannot understand what he's saying.Work don't feel like work anymore without Rev,no one to smoke with before shift and no one to really talk to if D is not on the same shift.James got promoted to Assistant Manager and he's only 19.I just knew he was 19 yesterday night.Hahaha.So young yet so capable.

I need to watch my recorded shows again before I start on my project.I don't know man,I'm feeling really lazy today.I even feel like sleeping now.

So,I'll consider that an OK post.I'm so bored that I end up writing all these.
I don't know,I just..oh!Michael Jack died :( Its sad but hey,life goes on.No one is taking over his place...No one,yes even you Kanye.

Au Revoir

2009-06-30T00:51:00.002+08:00

Cobra Starship |MTV Music

Bitch,you're so hot.I want to marry you now.

hahaha.

2009-06-25T02:06:00.001+08:00

Sometimes,you don't know what you got until its gone.
Appreciate people around you.Especially your parents,you guys.

My condolences to you Shahril.Stay strong,dude.

I've got an army

2009-06-21T14:17:00.002+08:00

I've never been good with words and been lazy to tell the world what's going on my mind.Anyway,I meet up with my girl friends on Saturday.It was insane!I wish we have these things every week.
I'm too lazy to say anything now.Let the camera film takes it place.

Too many to upload.FB will do its job.On the other note,Happy Father's Day,Dad.
Yeah I know you don't need it because you say its not important at all.So I'm going to waste my Sunday watching cable tv.Haha
Au Revoir

Waves

2009-06-19T02:24:00.005+08:00

My first time to Henderson Waves.The stairs were a killer but who cares when you have great people around you.Hah,cliche as it may sound but I'm glad I came on Wednesday.

I LIKE TO PRESS ENTER ALOT.GET OVER IT,SLUT

oh that?that was just for my own pleasure.
Au revoir.

Silence on your face

2009-06-16T23:42:00.000+08:00

Cough,flu,headache.Man,this is not what I plan for the holidays.Oh what the hell.

Au revoir

Plan B

2009-06-13T14:04:00.003+08:00

I don't know where to start or where to end.So many things to say but I just don't want to say.I can't put my finger to it.Two weeks of non-working weekends.Dope!
I think I'll just continue to blast the stereos to get back at my neighbour.I'm too broke to go out anyways.
Bye.

my alibi for you

2009-05-31T03:49:00.004+08:00

I'm still awake,got no where to sleep.Trying too keep my eyes wide.Missed my cousin's wedding because of work.The only reason I hate work is because of Saturdays and I love it like hell when it comes to great customer,like Ben and Is is ismail!

My bones ache so much.I got projects and I'm hoping for holidays to come soon.I miss being a normal teenager and everywhere else in this tiny island.I'm hoping tomorrow's wedding will be fine.Seriously,I wish my aunties won't ask me anything about my life.Once they know,the whole clan knows and my grandma will start questioning me.You people can never see my family happy.Guess what,we're fucking are!

I don't know.I get angry at the past and keep on wishing others would move forward to the future.
I need some juice or maybe hot tea.I really need to sleep.Let the force begin!

Still alive and kicking

2009-05-28T00:49:00.003+08:00

I wish I had a few grands to blow off on stuff and a good trip.Been skipping class lately and my teacher talked to my Mum about it.Mum's giving me the cold shoulder.Old news.
Mrs T wasn't so bad afterall,she gave me a piece of advice and some praises(hehe) that make me wants to slap myself.I mean,why the fuck do I want to repeat mistakes?I should be glad that 2009 is being fair to me and my Sister.We both agree that 2009 is by far going well for us.With her job,my parents,my dad quitting his job,haha.I don't know,my grandmother told me my Dad got a new job.The job he always loved.I hate the fact that my Mum tells my Grandma instead of me.She doesn't share anything with me anymore.

I'm finding a way to quit my job.My weekends are burnt and I feel lifeless.I want my life back,with a pang!Hah,who am i kidding?I need to find a way to get rid of this cramps before the take over me.
Appreciatte what you have guys before you lost them.

Au revoir!

Will I ever get to marry my handsome friend?

2009-05-17T21:57:00.004+08:00

Weak weekend.Work and just me,laying lifeless on bed wondering what to do next besides annoying my cat and watch cartoons.Please,don't start your 'OMG you still watch cartoons?!!LOSER!" I love cartoons.One of the reason why I want cable tv.HAHA
This week was pretty sweet,except the part I get lecture by my 'sasha fierce' teacher for not attending school.Fine,I'll go to school everyday.I need a new alarm clock.My handphone is weak.The snooze button sucks like mad!

My Mum's birthday tomorrow and still clueless of what to get her.Supposedly there were dinner plans but since my sister bail out,we had to cancel and settle for tomorrow.Dinner at home,my sister's cooking.Hurrah.Any ideas what to get a Mum for her birthday?If I sms her and ask what she wants,I will know the answer which is "I want my children to do well in their life,get a decent job,pray for their parents and be good children" Its ALWAYS like that every year.ALWAYS.
The only reason why my Mum is always angry is because I'm always skipping school and have the messiest room.My Dad pamper me too much when I was young,I guess.Haha
I plan to 'revise' some school assignment today but I got annoyed with my brother having his friends over at our place.I change to decent clothes and went to my brother's house.Played XBOX the whole evening with my nephew.It sucks when I lose to a 7-year old who pronounce Chicago as 'ci ca go'.Like pronouncing Chicago in a malay language.Hahaha.I promise him that I'll get him a new game or bag if he gets top ten in class.I wish I was top ten in class every year.

10pm already and I'm starting to get sleepy and thirsty.If only life was a wonderland,I would be Alice.I don't what that suppose to mean but I'm just trying to be funny.Ha ha.
Until next time,dufus.

2009-05-11T22:18:00.003+08:00

Thanks girls.I love you guys

2009-05-09T02:31:00.000+08:00

2009-05-06T10:13:00.003+08:00

Mundane week.I feel like shit and Tuesday was worse.Late for class and all other stuff like my poor shoelaces.Too ashame to tell you but,I will tell anyways.Hah,I had to colour my white shoelaces to black using a marker because apparently,Angry woman thinks that my shoe is not black enough.
Dude,where's the freedom?Told you my life suck and if you say I told you so,I'm gonna blow up now.

I'm hoping it rains again today so I have a reason to smoke more and ask my sister to pay back my money soon.I just hope June 13 comes fast because I miss late night outs,and not coming back home.I should revise this lameass BPF thing.Stupid test,its only the 3rd week and I feel so annoyed.I still got a year to go.Fuck.I wish someone would marry now,someone rich so I don't have any worries.I don't give a shit if he has 5 wives or China mistresses.I just...I don't know.

I keep on writing lame poems which sometimes doesn't even rhyme or make sense on my orange free notebook.
Wishing someone would understand me but no one does cause not 1 of my friends scored higher than 80% in 'How well do you know me" quiz on FB.Haha.
I really want to talk to Hadainah.Can you please fast forward?

I'm really hungry.

2009-05-02T00:38:00.002+08:00

Ditch my classmates plan
Stayed home the whole day(sort of)
Followed my Dad to fetch my Mum
Had western for supper
Watching recorded movies now.
My life suck.

2009-04-29T10:08:00.002+08:00

This thing is making me laugh like shit at my desk alone.My classmates will think I'm mental but I don't really care.bye

2009-04-29T00:21:00.002+08:00

Maybe she's right.Stop prejudicing other else it'll just contradict back at you.
Dude,I miss my life,money,everything.I'm so broke,so lifeless,so hypocrite.
Haha,I should change because things change and I can't have it my way.
I do feel bad actually,just a little bit and please,don't judge me when you read this because I don't know you,haha.I really need to sleep now.And money.I sound like Mr Krabs.Whatever,I still watch cartoons on Sunday mornings.
Au revoir

2009-04-23T08:47:00.003+08:00

Just a few hours more and I'll be back home.Got an assignment to do but keep on procrastinating it since yesterday.Birthday party today?I'll go and make sure I wake up early for school on Friday.Not like today,but it wasn't me...its the bus.Haha.

I need to go out and explore this boring world.Just,explore and keep my mind fill with things that are relevant.My teacher is taking his own sweet time that now,no is even doing any work.
Well,bye.

grow up

2009-04-20T21:05:00.004+08:00

korang,aku miss korang

I miss holidays.The long ones where I can stay up the whole night and see the sun shine through my bedroom window and hear my Mum nag about how late I stay up and watch cable and use the laptop.Now,I'm in bed even before 12.I guess I have not get the hang of school yet.I hope soon,I will.

My legs feel like its going to break anytime soon.Had S&W just now,3 rounds,60 sit ups,20 push ups,running up down the stairs.I think I only manage to do 50 plus sit ups.Haha,so proud of myself.Hey!the thin girls in my class are struggling too okay.Speaking of class,getting closer to classmates.Ragen is a cool dude who I love to talk to.The girls are a-okay.Sometimes,some of them get one my nerve.1,no 2.They irritate the crap out of me.Somtimes I feel like shouting,but I can't.Just a year,I'll try to tolerate and do well.I hope.Adult fare is killing my pocket and my parents too.Now,because of me my Mum has to do extra job just so I have pocket money everyday.I really feel bad.Its okay Mum,I can eat at home and I have my own water bottle.I just need transportation fare.I have to continue to work even though I wish I can quit this second.The new shopping mall is attracting more customers and we end up tired more than we ever were.

I hope this week flies fast like last week and hoping to achive my goals.
Set your fucking goals yeah!

2009-04-16T17:06:00.002+08:00

School,work.I guess it's okay to give up a year of my life after failing too much.hahaha
Almost everyone is asking this question, "so how's school?" Well you guys,its okay since I still don't really know my classmate nor remember their names.hah.

I've got a plan for myself.A plan I plan myself.Just a plan.And I don't know if I'm up for it.
no!I will.I will.
bye

there it goes

2009-04-12T15:54:00.002+08:00

I can't figure out my face expression.Sarah acting like a customer...haha.Ash got me a 'I heart HK' shirt when she was in HK and I'm wearing it now.Comfy as hell.My friends,if you guys are reading this,we are a few hours away to our new school.Departing our ways.Well,this is it.Its not near,its here.
Goodbye

100 more years to go

2009-04-08T01:28:00.000+08:00

this things happen when I decide to sleep early or they decide to sleep early.haha

My new refigerator.Haha,action right?!hahahaha

So yeah,I have a kindergarten handwriting and I'm not really good with words.haha.Its my parent's 31th anniversary today and I'm too broke to buy them anything.Its not like we're going out for dinner or something because my family is having major problem.Well actually,my brother is and I really feel sorry for him,my sister-in-law and the kids.I really hope there's another option :(

So there,things aren't going so well and my parents called for me and my sister at night for a family talk.Wow,its been ages since we had one.I was half asleep but I know where this is going.
I'm really proud of my parents.Sacrificing everything us who don't deserve those kindness.I mean,I've asked my sister..what have we ever done to make our parents proud?All we've done is disappoint them over and over again.Well,I think I'm a good daughter minus the smoking and not going home sometimes part.Hey,at least I listen to them and follow them out.Like on Monday,we 3 musketeers went to Johor Bahru.Johor never looked so beautiful....hehe.My mom bought me a new pair of shoes without me giving her the sad look and numbers of reasons why she should buy me one.Hahaha.My Dad was forever grumpy until food came.Hahaha..At least he's grumpy.If he was suddenly happy and cheerful,that would be so weird.Sometimes,I wonder how he come out with clever jokes.I suddenly feel so delighted after writing this.God is fair afterall and HE does listen if you make the effort to talk to HIM.
You get what I mean?Don't blame life for anything that goes wrong.Anything that goes wrong is just a lesson to learn.So,we won't make mistakes again.

I'm so glad we had this talk,bye and keep smiling cause the world will smile with you

ps:I got that from the door to the kitchen at my workplace...the one with the cute baby.haha

Chances

2009-04-04T04:11:00.000+08:00

I know this sounds gay,but I actually like Miley Cyrus new song,the climb.Although she has this manly voice,the lyrics make me feel like life is after all not so bad if you look at the good point instead of pointing out the wrong one all the time.Why do I feel like I'm preaching on something?
Can't believe April is here,fucking 9 more days to hell.School,change me or break me.I don't know,new school,new people,new stuff.Its just weird and really scary.Hah,"Hi,my name is Nabilah.I don't know if anyone told you yet but I'm actually new here." "TALK TO ME AGAIN AND I'LL KICK YOUR ASS"

Hahaha,who am I kidding...I will tell my father if someone said that to me,ask him to come down to school,kick the shit out of the kid and take me home.Haha,I haven't seen him for 2 days and miss him already.Haha,I'm thinking of a family day...its been long.We are all busy working and my sister in law is 2 months pregnant!Dude,I'm so excited that I can pee now.Haha,a newcomer in the family.Can't wait,can't wait,can't wait.I don't care if people say that will make me feel older having more nephew or niece.I don't care.We haven't told my mother yet because we want to surprise her.Mother would be so happy that we both can pee now.hahaha.

I want to go to Malaysia now,for a holiday or a person.Hmm,destiny.
Working again today,now my life sucks.Bye

2009-03-31T22:53:00.002+08:00

Right now,I'm eating cheeseburger and hearing Rev and Nor bantering each other.I'm at my workplace now,just me and this crappy laptop.Oh,and I saw Matt of Vacant Affair and did the OMG thing.Why does it seems like I'm the only one who recognize him?hahaha.I'm broke like shit now,and they are planning another day out this week.I need/want/to stop smoking like right now.
Saw the exhibition about how much money we spend on cigarettes.Its ridiculous.Hmm,here comes my pure chocolate.Bye,for now.

what title?!!!

2009-03-29T05:58:00.004+08:00

I don't care what time it is now but I can hear birds being a nuisance.Why can't you things just shut the fuck up?Just be beautiful and be quiet on your trees.These Chinese bastards in front of my block should just get the fuck out of my neighbourhood.You think you're so cool that you listen to trance and drink Bacardi?Fuck you shits,just go home and brush up on your language.

Why?Why is it so difficult for me to go to bed?I can't even watch tv without being reminded of this asshole.Sorry I called you that but deep down,you know I care.But you don't?Do you even remember my face?My name?My hair?My eyes?My nose?My mouth?My teeth?DO YOU?
Stop asking me whats wrong.Nothings wrong okay.I'm just feeling really lethargic and angry and sad and just really,fucked up.I don't know,I just have this slight velleities that I can go back to last Sunday and freeze up and explode so I can forget everything.I don't blame anyone.Not even myself.Maybe you were at fault because you're just too cute that I feel like slapping you.
Sometimes,I feel like punching people faces when they ACT cute because for one obvious reason,they are not good actors which equals to not cute and I hope they just be normal.
Stop being like everyone else.Like a duplicate key,which turns the same direction.
Whatever man,I don't care about this post.It my blog.Fuck you.

I've lost something

2009-03-27T01:23:00.002+08:00

Haven't been able to sleep well this past few days despite being tired back from work.I think its the weather or just me.I've been feeling lost since Sunday.Especially Sunday.
I just... I don't know.

Save me F.

People with name starting with F are so heartbreaking sometimes.hahaha

2009-03-25T04:53:00.000+08:00

Sometimes,happiness comes in small packages.
Bonne nuit

boom sha boom

2009-03-24T22:31:00.000+08:00

Part of me is looking forward to school but 3/4 of me is hoping school won't start soon.Let me stay 17 forever.Or 16 like how my Dad thinks I am.Been sick last weekend but still,it didn't change my mind.Late supper,night rides and ghost stories in cars.Hah,boring.

Glad the training is over but the,we won't be able to see F again.Shit,Diyana..lets go to JB.hahaha
Felt like I haven't work for days.I miss work and I don't even know what time my shift starts tomorrow.My pay is gone,burn in ashes.I don't know what I spent on.People,myself,cigarettes,ez link,more cigarettes.Shit,I haven't got any stuff for school yet.okay,can everybody stop talking about school now?

Watched cable tv the whole night yesterday.Movies,the simpsons,movies and hot tea.Haven't been online for a few days and people are wondering why.haha.My life is now about work,home,tv,facebook,youtube,nabolister.Let me continue my boring life to you some other time and you guys,when are we going out?hmph.

2009-03-09T01:58:00.005+08:00

My back hurts.
Ben didn't come today :(
I'm bloody tired.
Saw Ain performed yesterday at my cousin's wedding
Stupid wedding.Stupid bloody uncle.
Thank God for my Auntie's great family
I want more off days.
D's working with me tomorrow.Hurrah
Bye.

"Cinta ku jujur selama iniiii..."
HAHA.Ok.

hi,my life rule

2009-03-07T00:43:00.003+08:00

I'm doing great,thank you
Recession sucks,although some of don't give a fuck about it
It affects my family now,especially my eldest brother
I haven't had dinner with my parents for weeks
They think 2 is cheaper than 3 and I agree.Haha.
I hope my Dad eat his medications on time
Sometimes,I feel like hugging him and tell him that I love him but,I'm just too...
I hope those bastards at his workplace fall terribly sick for making my Dad
But still,I have a great family and I love you guys.
I love my job because I have great collegues like A'nam,A'Rev,A'elle,'abang' nor,and great managers
And my best friend is working the same place as I am
We both hate it when Prada comes because he is a cheese basi
I haven't blog for weeks
I think point form is cool
I'm enjoying my 3 days off
I hate going to wedding which is tomorrow evening
I need new pants
New shoes
I hope my brother helps me reboot my laptop
I am not looking forward to school or anything that has to do with studies.
I miss the fucking awesome chalet we had
Can we make another one?
Fine,I'll end this.
Haha,I'm getting annoying right?
Okay bye.

hi love,you're too cliche

2009-02-14T22:20:00.005+08:00

Two days of off day is doing me good.Been sick for 2 days now.Surprise Mai with a cake and a photo album under her block and brought tears to her eyes.Awwh...that felt good.Treat them to supper at Serangoon Road and just spent the night away talking about old stories.Went to Central Park after supper and go home only when its 7am.Guess my night was really well spent.You would not want to know what time I wake up from bed.Hahaha....sucks being a girl aye?

I love my job,I love my family,I love my friends,I love my cat,I love myself.It feels good to be happy.Feels like the world will smile with you.But I still miss my friends.It feels like I haven't hang out with them forever.I hope this week would be okay and can't wait for the chalet,pigs!I miss my classmates.Glad we're having this chalet.We shall banter and annoy each other all night long.
Okay,I can smell the Mee Soto from here.I need my meal now.Heh

Bye assholes.Be happy.

Happy 20th bitch.Be less blur and always happy.ILY:)

the 13

2009-02-13T18:38:00.002+08:00

Oh hi Friday.Finally,an off day.I need a break.Thought of meeting my friends but,what the hell.
Nevermind.I just needed an excuse to post something today because,its Friday the 13 and this flu is taking over my life now.

Help me from myself

2009-02-10T04:16:00.002+08:00

I wonder what's everyone else doing now.I can't get to sleep but thats usual news.
Monday was fucking insane.We need a crowd controller..people are still coming in even though we are close.Man,if everyday will be like this...my legs are going to suffer.Good news that I'm not working later.Going to hospital to visit my grandmother.Really hope she'll get better soon.
I miss going out,adventure with my friends and just feeling comfortable around them.We need to go out,and not just hang out man.I miss exploring this city.Haha.That wasn't even a real laugh.

I don't know whats got into me.I've been quiet and moodless since work started and its really not because of work.I don't know,dude.I'm like going through a phase of life which I can't describe right now.I want myself to come back again.I hope I'll feel okay after a good sleep.
Hah,how pathetic..wishing myself to be okay.

I need a new memory card reader,pronto.

2009-02-05T02:41:00.003+08:00

Life is good and tiring for now.I've got no good topics to write except that my parents like the Upin and Ipin series.
Okay thanks.Bye.

Lets rewind

2009-02-02T02:30:00.003+08:00

I'm going to steal you one day,kid.

2009-01-30T01:02:00.002+08:00

This week was just hectic.Spent the holidays over at Mai's house since her family and my family were both out of town...Dude,it felt like party everyday.Hahaha.Smoking wherever you want,sleeping only after dawn breaks,movie marathons,junk food,BEN & JERRY,and just awesomeness.Hahaha.Suck on that!

Friday nights are suppose to be fun.Why must I work later?If only 'zam' was there..hahahaha.
Dude..I'm nervous.FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY.Can we stop time now?Like...FOREVER?
Uhh..satay satay.Hahaha.My parents bought lots of them home.My cousin gave it to us to share it with other families.Hah,families.GTH.

Remember when I said I hope my mum buy alot of DVDs?Apparently,she did..but I have watch all of it like months ago.Hahaha.All hail the internet.AND,the most irritating part of all is,my mum bought that Upin and Ipin dvd...hahaha.I could hear my parents laughing to the story at noon yesterday.I don't get it...I don't find it appealing at all.You know,this blog is so dull.It needs pictures and I've not transferred them.Hahaha.I might when I'm not that lazy.

Okay,bye

2009-01-25T06:32:00.003+08:00

Hi moribund soul.I'm awake but I really want to shut my eyes.But the buzz amidst Mai's house won't let me.Oh ya,we're having a party since no one's at home except us.Partying with ice lemon tea and cigarettes.Hahaha.I'm just slumming around with my sister,Mai and Dinie.Work was 'okay'.
If you know what I mean,Prada.Right D?hahaha."Its not just a bag,its Prada."

I think my parents are off to their trip and I didn't send them off.I hope they have a safe trip and maybe buy DVDs.Hahaha.Oh bye Dinie.Off you go,now we can have a girl's party.Hahaha.My blog is so boring without pictures.Why the hell must people go on holiday?Its not fair.Hmmph.

I think I should take a shower now and go to sleep.I feel like a vampire.Haha.If you get it,if you don't...shut the fuck up.

Free food

2009-01-23T03:09:00.000+08:00

Oh well,here goes another one.I'm exhausted but laughing too much is making me unsleepy.Thanks to Diyana...or is it me?Haha.The person who laughs at her own joke.I miss Dainah and Mia.I wonder if they miss me too...or maybe too busy to miss me now?Hahaha.Its okay,really used to it.Hahaha.Kidding.Wait,Sharifah?Where the hell are you?!hahaha.

I miss my friends but I don't miss D.Hahaha.Hours with you can make me shit already.Making drink without the cover on and having that 'choco' bomb all over.Hahaha.And talking about 'Zam'.Haha,PUTANG INA!The bliss of working with your best friend.Hahaha.If all of us were to be together...hahahaha.I can't imagine what the fuck would happen to that place.

So,its either tomorrow or I don't know when.Wait,what the fuck??SOLD OUT?!I hate Singapore.Let me drown myself in my own tears.Hahaha.Lets see if my sister's 'plan' work tomorrow.I'm too lazy to help out.Hahaha.I get hyper when I'm tired.Everyone says that.Okay,not everyone..maybe 1 or 2.

Another post of words with nothing.I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Goodnight.

2009-01-21T02:14:00.001+08:00

Oh hi.I can't get to sleep again.Yesterday was a long long day.Training and dinner and long rides.Finally,a job!I'm not that lazy after all.Haha..my Mum must be happy.I wish I could go to KL with the family but due to certain circumstances,I can't.Alone at home for 3 days?Hahaha.I should make a party.A party for 3,me and my cats.I need new dvds man....I want to try out the new mini HTS my sister bought.

HAHAHA.Fucking msn-ers.Don't add me in your stupid mass conversations.Uh..I'm so bored that I can put my whole fist inside my mouth.Wanna see?I feel like watching mean girls again.

Did you realize you just wasted about 1 minute reading my crappy post?Whose having the biggest laugh now huh?

Hahaha.

xoxo
Nabby Baby,(haha!)

Yet again,

2009-01-19T01:44:00.002+08:00

I forgot about internet these past few days.I don't know what I have been doing.Always out and back only when the sun rises.Hahaha.My Mum is piss off but she wouldn't care to do anything...haha.Dude..work in few hours time...I need to force myself to sleep now.
Thank Sis for the mini spree,haha.I want more but nevermind.
Goodnight stranger.

2009-01-10T00:16:00.000+08:00

My nights are spend watching my sister and her best friend playing cards and I,just looking up at the sky thinking,and thinking.Now,I don't even know what to think about.My eyes are weary but I can't shut them.Going out everyday is making me feel like a sad kid with a hole in her pocket.Shit.Work,please?haha.

Trying to look for a good movie to watch,or maybe watch OC again.Haha.My laptop's fucked up.Must be my luck that my brother's out and I'm at home.I've been scribbling words on that free notebook I got but only to realise I've wrote craps.I need to get serious and I'm going to do that.I won't delay,won't give excuses.Tomorrow,I mean later.The first thing I'll do when I wake up.
Oh by the way,my sister is back at Tampines.Lets see how long she'll last.Seems pretty good so far.Haha.Never running out of cigarettes.Haha..thats what sisters are for.

Dude,lets go out and count the typical dresses we see everywhere we turn.It seems fun and annoying at the same time.An annoying sight.Singapore is running out of ideas,and so am I.

Till then,let me perish.

A whole new beginning

2009-01-06T00:51:00.000+08:00

Lets be forever young.

Hard candy with a surprise center

2009-01-02T23:30:00.000+08:00

Seeing sky littered by stars,waiting for the sunrise and listening to great music.My life rules.
I spent new year's eve with my 3 great friends.If only Dainah's dad came later,we could watch fireworks and those ship gun-help things together.I don't know what its call but its cool.My first time celebrating new year's day with friends..haha.We played the mini pirate ship and still shouted like little girls.Imagine Escape Theme Park guys,haha.McCafe and back to the sand.
Singing under the skies and taking silly pictures."Cos thats what girls do...yeahh"

I couldn't get to sleep at all,end up crying with my sister and Lidia and before I realise it,dawn broke and I watch it alone because everyone was already asleep.Imagine staying awake for almost 30 hours.The birthday party was okay.The Dora cupcakes were the best.The weather wasn't on our side so we went back early.Well,I thought we would but my sister wants to catch a movie and we did.Haha.I can't believe survive all that.If people get paid for staying awake,I could earn the most.If.

2 more weeks motherfuckers.May we all succeed.Pleassseee....
I'm still tired and my mind is so confuse.I think I should hit the sheets now.
Bye.

Its time

2008-12-31T02:54:00.000+08:00

LOFL

24 hours to 2009 and I'm nervous as hell.I don't fucking know why.I have not pack my bag for tomorrow nor have I burn those fucking CDs.Fucking HSM,Disney motherfuckers.My last post for 2008 and I feel a bit like Mr Grumpy.I'm mad at my Mum because she won't laugh at my joke just now.It was about my cat and it was funny.Well,at least I thought it was.Haha.

I went to some stupid Malay 'cukur rambut' at that well-known restaurant whose food taste like my cat's shit.I was angry for the fact that my sister wasn't home,when she said she would,I was angry that I had to wake up early,I was angry that I know no one and seems like everyone treat my Grandma like royalty and suddenly I became invisible,I was angry I had to wear wedges because I had no flats,I was angry because I feel like an alien,I was angry because my Auntie's family seems so big and happy.To be honest,that was the most angriest part of all.Seeing other families sitting in one big table,telling jokes and bantering each other.I sat at the next table,looking in envy,wishing that was my family.I know,get over it Nabilah.Its not my fault that I'm not close to my cousins.Blame my parents,really.

I'll just let it go.I'm not sorry for blogging this because I had to else my mind won't be at peace. My parents are actually planning for a short trip to KL.Maybe visiting a few families or just,stay at the fucking hotel or go to the same fucking places.If only my Dad wasn't that temperamental. I'm still contemplating on whether to go,my own personal reasons and my Mum is bugging me to tag along with them.I have a feeling the trip might be off.I just have that tingling feeling.

Fucking wars and bloodsheds.When will they ever stop?I feel so political talking about this but seeing innocent kids dieing because of their religion is not something you look forward.Imagine dying for something you preach?Dude,what is happening to the world?

I hate writing long posts because it makes me bored.I can't get to bed and I'm still wondering if my Mum would give me money tomorrow.Ten bucks is a HUGE amount.Yeah,try asking my parents.

Finally,farewell 08'.I know I screw up big time this year but I really hope 09 will be better for me and others out there. I need to make a list of resolutions.Like I make an effort doing it.
Haha.

I don't even care,whore

2008-12-24T21:16:00.000+08:00

Woke up in the afternoon,dragged my feet across the room and found myself hearing the same thing again.When will she ever get it?They don't want her anymore.I do feel bad but you won't know what its like hearing the same thing everyday when you woke up from your uncomfortable sleep.

I love weathers like this.It makes me want to coop myself alone in my room and read my book but I don't have a room anymore and my brother's room won't make the cut.I'm not complaining,just telling.I thought of going to my brother's house which is just a few blocks away because I wanted to check out the soccer table he bought for my nephew.Haha.The real fact is,I just want to get out from this house and maybe make a lot of negative statements about the thing he just bought.My sister-in-law don't really understand but I don't care.Shit,I still need to download all those Disney songs for my niece birthday since I'm assigned to be the..err DJ?Fucking HSM.Can't kids listen to DCFC or maybe Paramore?Lol.

I have a lot to type out but I can't because I'll end up writing childish post like some kid.Not pointing fingers....not pointing fingers.I can't stop taking coffee and I even made a cup of coffee for my Dad when he got home from work.What the fuck is wrong with me?I know thats the right thing to do but at the same time,I wish I didn't because I find it weird.Weird that I'm making coffee for my own dad?Dude,bring me back to Earth.

I just realise today is Christmas Eve.Makes me want to forget what happen last year at this date.I want to be a better person on 2009 so I still have a few more days to be a bitch.But a good one,of course.Haha.Was that even funny?NO.

I think I'll just continue reading my book and..I don't know what to do anymore.

Its kind of fascinating

2008-12-23T15:58:00.002+08:00

Monday was fucking awesome.No monday blues shits.We decided to go to the new place in town-Marina Barrage.Although the weather was scroching and I was hungry,my friends make it all better.I'm missing Mrs Suhaimi's macaroni,Mrs Jamaludin's spaghetti,Fah's chocolate fudge,Ain's mash potato(iwantmore) and of course,Mia's cute cupcakes.I just bought chips because I was lazy to whip out something.The wind spoil my oh-so-beautiful hair and I can't be pretty anymore.I mean,was I even one to start with?Haha.

Twilight was fuckingly heavenly awesome.Even with Kristen's bad act,I still think she's gorgeous and I don't mind being her even just for a day.Of course its not as detailed as the book but,what the hell.The Cullens are a great family and I don't even want to talk about R.Pattz because I'll end up being sick like those few weeks when I get to meet Utt.Its hard being a teenage girl.

After the movie,we bought pizza and just hang out like how we always will.Too bad some kids missed out for reasonable reasons.Not like I really care of the reasons anyway.I'm used to it that it has grown on me.

Right now,I'm just unconditionally and irrevocably in love with....I don't even want to say it here.
Bye

Not trying hard enough kid

2008-12-20T00:46:00.004+08:00

What the fuck can I buy with $30?Nothing,since I have a thing going on this Monday.I'm not looking forward to any adventures now because I'm tired.Thanks to Sarah,I at least have a few dollars inside my bank.It was nothing awesome.Just books...and more books.I have a question.
DO I LOOKING LIKE A SEC 1 KID?haha.These group of boys from the school was saying out loud "eh,budak-budak sec 1 uh" YOUR MOTHER'S HUSBAND LA CIBAI.haha.

Still deciding on whether to go on Sunday.Going out cost money and finding a job is one hell of a job.I need to roam Singapore just to find a suitable job.If not,I won't hesitate to work at JB.Speaking of which,I hope Dainah buy me the chewing gums.

I have another question.Does it bother you when someone change and expect things to be normal but you know it'll never will?God,teenagers nowadays.Tsk tsk.

I'm going to broke and feeling depress again.My brother needs the internet more than I do.
Goodnight sad-kids.Yeah,you.

Bruised knuckles

2008-12-17T20:02:00.007+08:00

Dear moribund soul,I hate today.Why?Because the cash deposit machine is temporarily unavailable and I can't cash in the money my mother gave me yesterday.
Haha.You can tell that I'm bored right now.Watching Singapore vs Vietnam.I don't know which team to cheer on.

I got an interview tomorrow and work.Pei Hwa!Hurrah.haha.Back to school,bitches.Uh..How do I get there?Someone want to send me tomorrow?SOMEONE??We're meeting Betty tomorrow.I miss her.Haha.I don't even know her,yet I hope.Redbull and cigarettes and...irritating cats.Welcome to my life.

Oh god,Elvin Ng is so hot..he makes my dick hard.Haha.Did you guys see his new advertisement on TV?Haha.Shit,sorry Utt baby.I still <3 you.

He came here yesterday night because I asked him to.Too bad,sluts

2008-12-15T19:10:00.003+08:00

I just got back from Geylang.A date with my granny.Haha.What was I suppose to buy at Geylang?Baju kurung?Jubah?Haha.I'll bring my Granny next time I go to Orchard so she can pay for my shopping.Heh heh.I'm just kidding.I'll make sure my sister buy me these heels I'm dying to have when she gets her money.Haha.Kak,I hope you're reading this.

Sorry Nabs for not going to your 'hell'.Haha.I'm not ready for that kind of stuff.Since Dainah and I was all ready,we still went out just to hang and chat with Mirandre.Haha.Dude,I've never said that word for so long.Mirandre.Haha.Okay.

I'm broke and cigarette-less.And I'm dying for a shoe and a dress?HAHAHAHA.Help me,please?

Diyana:"heels?thats so not you.haha"

What if...it'll never be?

2008-12-12T01:42:00.001+08:00

Weathers like these sucks.I can't get to sleep.I don't know how many sticks I took today,forgetting that I'm broke and jobless.My nephew came over on Wednesday but only after a few hours,he called his Mum and asked her to pick him up.I must be a boring company.I hate doing the same thing every fucking single day except watching OC again on Channel 5.Is it me or the drama this days are just the same?All those cliche dialogues and same scenes.Anyone watch The Little Nyonya?Haha.Chinese dramas are always the best.

I don't know what to write anymore or watch any good movies.Is there even one now?
Twilight.One more week,kids.
I hope its as good as the book.
Bye.

its like suicide once again

2008-12-07T18:55:00.005+08:00

I went out with Ash and Sarer on Saturday.It was good.I'm glad I went out with you guys again.Haha.Next month perhaps?Just hope no weird weathers and muddy fields please.

I dread Sundays.Its either I'm alone or just with my cats.My cats are not even at home.Well,actually my Dad came back for a while just now with slaughter goats bones.I was helping him unloading them to the freezer because he wanted to give some to the other families.While I was unloading the 'things',I saw this long thing so I asked him what was it.And he told me with such calm voice.. "oh thats the tongue." I went to the toilet and just threw up.How could he brought a tongue back?!haha.My Dad is so weird.He actually invited me for late lunch at his usual favourite spot but I don't know why I decline it.I guess the thought of me and him,just the two of us having lunch makes me feels uncomfortable.I think the years he spent overseas drift us apart and I didn't even try to make it work.Haha.

I'm hearing the takbir now.This is weird.Me,alone on this day.This house feels like a desolate place sometimes.My sister is such a procrastinator.
I think I should stop now and just feel the energy around me.
I predict tomorrow is going to be dreary than usual.

you know who you are

2008-12-06T02:30:00.002+08:00

I know I just wrote a post say like,half an hour ago?But I just needed to type this out else I won't be able to sleep with ease.

I know,you're sorry and you miss us.Trust me,I do miss you guys too.Maybe its not too late yet to continue our chapters.But whatever happen to promises and 'no,it'll not happen again this time" ? I or should I say,we understand but I don't think you guys do.Hey,I'm not here to put you guys down or blaming you.A chance more is what you need and let me say this,if you guys blow it off this time,I don't think I will be able to give more.Haha.No,I'm serious.Lets just forget whatever happen last time and be like how we use to be.How silly,how stupid,how naive,how US.

Lets just let down our hair and have fun,like we usually do.

Chance?

2008-12-06T02:08:00.002+08:00

I can't to sleep,as usual.Spent my nights watching movies I've watched before.Mostly,the ones that can make me cry to bed.Haha.Waking up to "Okay,I'm off to work now." everyday.Sucks to be me.Why can't I have a sibling whose a year or two younger than me?Someone who I can talk to and have the same taste like me?Apparently,my sister doesn't but when she said Jerome was a good-looking Philipino,I couldn't agree more.When I saw his picture,I just had to make that "wwwoooowwww" sound.Like Farid Kamil's.

I'm watching collegehumor videos right.Fucking nuts!haha.How do they even come out with silly videos that can make people laugh but at the same time find it stupid?Haha.I'm still contemplating on whether to go tomorrow.Firstly,I miss having fun with those two wimps and secondly,I'm fucking broke.Like fucking fucking broke.I'm only left with a few cents thats enough for my bus fare.Dad,be kind.Haha.He is,but sometimes...I just have to find a good reason why I need the money.Like how I get my own internet.I'm able to convince him that having my own internet would be good because I'm the one who usually checks his emails(usually means,once a month.haha) and he said yes to my need.Haha.My sister always hates it when I do that.I can't help it.Its my talent.Haha

This post sounds too happy with my 'haha'.Wait,I am happy.haha
Oh!DCFC got two grammy nomination.Lets make that american sound "sweeeeettt"
Chunkfest tomorrow.Utt,be there or be square.Hahaha.
Sigh.OKAY,I'LL GET OVER IT ASSHOLE!

2008-12-03T13:49:00.001+08:00

I got a feeling today's going to be great.
HEY GIRL FRIENDS!

Loathe you

2008-12-02T13:44:00.003+08:00

Dude,channel 5 sucks.Utt is everywhere on channel 5 and the last episode of Chase make me cry because Utt was sad?Hahaha,shit.I'm going insane every minute.I was reading this blog,and the post make me laugh.I won't say it because it make me feels like I'm mean.I don't even know why I'm telling you this.I woke up an hour ago,but still feeling sleepy eventhough I smell like my niece.

I have a lot on my mind but I just can't put my finger on it.I have a lot to tell but I feel like I don't want to.I feel like going to Esplanade and just wait infront of the toilet,hoping to see someone again.Pale face,fast heartbeat,speechless.He must be the one.Hahaha.I DON'T CARE IF HE'S OLD.JOHNNY DEPP IS OLD BUT I STILL LOVE HIM.I like men.haha

I'm enjoying the holidays right now,lazy to find a job,staying at home all day long.This is the life?
I miss my friends but I don't miss all.I don't even care if I sound like a bitch right now because your opinions doesn't matter to me.Whatever happen to true friends?Sorry doesn't cut it.I don't even know what to say because,I have others who are always behind my back.Don't just ponder.Make an effort.

Sending my granny back today.Alone at last.Haha.Like I'm not use to.
This sausage mcmuffin doesn't taste good like it use to.

2008-12-01T18:15:00.004+08:00

I forgot how to use this thing call the laptop and someone's been clouding on my mind.
I'm a reaper.NO,a ripper.

I like tomyam too?
Sigh.

Anyway,thanks Dad.

it engulfs in me

2008-11-16T04:35:00.006+08:00

I've been wasting days watching old and new movies.Role models rule! I just finished watching a Malay movie.Couldn't find any Farid Kamil but Pierre Andre and Syed Hussein were on Sepi.A good substitute I guess.I cried like a baby watching the movie.Like being left alone or ditched.
I can't wait for more movies like this.Some lessons to learn from it at least.Appreciate,cherish,love.

Did I ever told you I love Anuar Zain?haha.Stop laughing at me.I don't fucking care about your opinions.This guy,okay MAN,has the greatest voice ever.If I get to meet him,I'll write him a poem that he'll cry and straightaway propose to me.I don't care if he's old enough to be my Uncle.Johnny Depp is old enough to be my dad but I'd still screw him.Hahaha.All these Malaysian stars are making me having the urge to migrate there.haha.Life would be great,just like when I was 9.Private school,rich friends,big house,cars,shopping.Okay,a year was not enough because I never understand the meaning of life yet when I was 9,not like I'd still understand life since I'm already 17.

Thanks,I'm not 18 and I can't see The Teenagers.Go o,enjoy it,laugh at me,mock at me.At least I'm still young and even if I'm jobless,my parents won't complain.NOT LIKE YOU!YOU MANIPULATING SELF-CENTERED WHORE! Okay,its me time now.

Speaking of job,I really need one.Anyone who happens to pass by this old 'shack' and coincidentally has a job vacancy for me,TELL ME.I'M DESPERATE LIKE A GUY NEEDS HIS PORN MOMENTS.I am serious.

Something to share,wait..I have alot to say today.Yeah I got alot to say...OKAY.Apparently,my nephew receive some awards yesterday and I only know yesterday night.My nephew was top 10 in his class,got the title for Best Speller and also,the top Malay student in Primary 1.I am proud of him.He's only 7 and he have make the family proud.I'm 17 and I've done nothing but trouble.Haha.DISOWN ME DAD!MUM! Heh heh.Like you would do that.I know you two love me too much to even leave me.Since I'm like the only daughter anyway.I guess you and that old hag has the same attitude.Staying over at friend's place and forgetting your family.Runs in the blood huh Sis?I didn't say it.Someone else did.

My grandma is always making me eating panadols,not that she force me to eat them but I had to because she always give me a headache with her question.haha.I hope she'll get use staying here so she won't keep asking me the same questions over and over again.

I whisper to the moon,return to me
My Companion,my lover,my heaven
Without him,night is my companion
Loneliness holds me in its embrace
Moon,don't let day come
Leave the world in twilight
Let it be lonely,
Like me

shake the wreckage

2008-11-11T17:29:00.003+08:00

Thought of getting an afternoon nap,but I can't.My mind is whirl up.I don't have any more words to say to my grandma.She's in state where she doesn't even remember what happens.I just receive a call from my Mum and it broke me down.How can a daughter be so cruel and inhuman towards her own flesh and blood?I hope my Dad or my 2nd uncle give her a tight slap.Haha.I'm expecting that.After what she did and say towards our family,she deserve it.Let me activate my sistaxz and brudderxz.I'm trying to cheer myself up and its no good.I've been typing out things on my mind for the last 2 hours on Microsoft Word and I'm saving it in a secret file.MUAHAHA.
Is there even anyone who laughs like that?

Oh,something to make me happy.I've officially finish my O levels and free from secondary school.Free from that 9 hours of detention.Take that,Mr Ee and Ms Shanta.Heheh
I need a job,I need money,I need to repair this laptop,top up my prepaid,repair my hair?Haha.
I wrote my to-do list and its long.I didn't know I had so many things in my mind.

I'm telling Sarah what's happening now and she's fucking mad too.haha.I feel like punching my stupid uncle and cruel auntie.OMG,I want to cry now.I can't believe this is happening.
I'm going to continue my so called 'wannabe-author-story'

I might be back sooner than you imagine.

Pull me back

2008-11-11T14:58:00.002+08:00

I can't take this recurring stuff she said.
I'm having a major headache.The panadols are not working.
My Mum is screwing up my plan.Everything is screwed up.
I'm not complaining but I did my part,I gave up my comfy bed,my privacy,my social life at least.
Why won't anyone just understand?I just need a day.

Bravo Sister,you did the family shame,yet again.Wow

Angels will lead you

2008-11-10T00:44:00.000+08:00

Saturday was epic.I met Ashreen and Sarah for our karaoke date.Eventually,I took the same bus with Ash since we live like,so near?HAHA.We went to Orchard and like what other people usually do,we walk around and be girls.They bought me a birthday present.My first birthday present..haha.I make myself sound so pathetic.Hah.Thank ladies,I love it.Heheh.
I can't believe you guys recorded me being all rap-ish with 50 cent.HAHA.I was having my moment.

It was great hanging out with them.Never have I imagine that we all be like this.haha.Thanks Sticky Cammy.We should hang out again,when I have money.LOL.

My grandma is now,officially staying over our place.Not the usual grandma,my dad's side.My parents are my hero forever.You won't know why.Don't worry grandma,you can stay here as long as you want.Forget all those motherfuckers.I hope they'll get retribution for doing this to you.God is Almighty =)

2008-11-09T16:17:00.002+08:00

I still can't believe how ridiculous my Uncles can be.I hope your children would do that to when you get old then you'll know how she feels.At least my parents has a heart,so you motherfuckers should really stop raking up the past.What?!ARE YOU FUCKING JEALOUS THAT WE ARE HAPPY WITH OUR LIFE NOW?! haha..It feels so good when you're the bad guy.

Like other nights

2008-11-08T03:59:00.005+08:00

I've been trying to sleep since 3 am but I'm still wide awake.I guess I'm use to sleeping only when my Mum left for work and wake up when my Dad comes back home to bring me lunch.haha.My Mum got a new job,with a job title that is.So now,its always pack food and I'm getting bored.I even had lunch with my Dad,just me and Dad,and it felt awkward and good.Why do I have to many 'and's in life?hahaha.My Dad kept asking if I wanted to follow him to pick up my Mum from work but I always refuse.I don't know why he would ask me,its just...weird?haha.Maybe I should accompany him sometime.Sunday should be good.

My sister is ditching her job,again.Told my Dad about it when I asked him to drive me over to Nabeel's block just now.He was actually asking about her.Why doesn't he ever talk to her himself?I'm tired of being a messenger and being the ear,the ear to listen to the nags my parents have for her.Sometimes,I wonder what its like if my sister wasn't what she is right now.Better or worse?She is sometimes recondite to understand.Whatever she if,I still love her because she said "LOVE YOU!" when she had to log out from msn.I am still waiting for my birthday present,although I know she had pushed it to January next year.Patience N,patience.

I feel like hitting the library on one of this free days.Just browsing books,magazine and comics.
I won't be able to enjoy the wonders of being a teenager when I start a job,if I'm a able to find one.I still want to be a book author.A small phrase in a newspaper or magazine would be good too.At least I would have something to be proud of since O levels backfired me.Or did I backfired it?

I better get to bed else I'll be late for later.Dad,don't forget my cien.Heheh

Cigarettes and coffee always make me shit...haha.Must be the coffee.

2008-11-06T23:00:00.002+08:00

Girls,more Wednesdays please?Well of course not literally only Wednesdays,but more of this thing that make me smile till I go to bed?haha.ILYSFM bitches.
Blogger is being fucked up.I can't upload pictures.Diyana uploaded them on her blog anyways so click on her.
AND AND AND,I SWEAR TO GOD MY BRA ISN'T VISIBLE OUTSIDE.THE FLASH MAKE IT VISIBLE.SO NOT SEXAY.HAHAHA.

Is it me or my leg still aches?hahaha

Oh ALLAH,please please please...let anyone here give me money.
PLEASE.

Later,aligator.

2008-11-06T03:32:00.002+08:00

Obama on the left,McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah

Haha.Amazing how they can come up with this.Oh well,forget politics.

Like I said,Wednesday's going to be awesome and it totally did.My legs still hurts and I still cannot get over Dainah's fierce Tyra Banks act.
"Give me contour!!GIVE ME FIERCE!"

2008-11-05T02:40:00.003+08:00

Tuesday has never been boring and good like this.Waking up in the afternoon is always great.

Sarah and I had nothing better to do late at night.haha.

:)

Wednesday's going to be awesome.I know it will.

My dad is even sexy now

2008-11-02T16:16:00.006+08:00

Saturday was JB time.The plan was to go on Friday but somehow,I manage to persuade my mum to go on Saturday.Well,that was before I remember it was Ms Tasneem's wedding.My dad told me that we'll be going to JB around late afternoon,so I thought "maybe I could go to Ms Tasneem's wedding for a while" I was all ready and then suddenly,my mum asked me not to go because my dad was getting ready to go out now.So,I didn't go and really felt sad about it.But its okay,at least I know the wedding went well.

The trip to Johor was really exciting.Like for the first time,I felt the joy of going there.haha.Ate at some seafood restaurant and went to Danga Bay.The theme park is sick!Full of rides and the carousel was really European style.With the lights and design.I only rode the pirate ship because it was my Sister's treat.hahaha.Everyone was calm on the ship but my sisters and I was like shouting and laughing.So much scene,everyone was gathering around the ship and looking at us.Very embarrassing but what the hell,it was fun.I actually wanted to record a video of us in the ship but it was too high that I couldn't even switch on my camera.hahaha.

Oh man,I need more of this family-fun-day-out.If my brother was there,it'll be perfect.Like he would ever go out with us.HAHA.

This one picture really make my day.HAHAHA

I swear I wanted to slap my dad's tummy when he did that.hahaha

Finally,a post with details of what I did.haha.How cliche.hehe

happy goober

2008-10-31T12:16:00.005+08:00

I had to woke up since the phone was ringing.I couldn't really hear what my mum said because I was still in daze but I'm sure she wished me happy birthday although she have smsed me in the morning.So,I log on to my myspace and saw new comments.AND GUESS WHO WISH ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY?!

OWL FUCKING CITY.DUDE,I LOVE THIS GUY SO MUCH BECAUSE HE HAVE CHANGE MY LIFE.Only idiots would not like him.

This was my reaction

HAVE A GREAT DAY!

2008-10-31T03:30:00.001+08:00

I am feeling so much better now and sad to say this,sucks to be you downer.

Thank you Diyana for the sweet post on your blog.Thank you for everything and thank you for being the same.ILYSFM.

2008-10-30T23:50:00.003+08:00

Ten more minutes to go.Why am I even waiting?I wasn't looking forward to this anyway.This means I am getting older and I have to be wiser.But still,its halloween.Like it means anything here.Right now,I am feeling empty,used,useless,left-out,just plain boring.I haven't have got the time and mood to post something decent up here and since I'm taking a break from those notes,I might as well write here.I'm gettin nervous every minute.I don't know why.Oh,my mum told me that she and my dad found a ten-dollar note on the floor when they were out just now.Yelah,gi dinner mane nak ajak kan :( haha.I'm being a child right now.She smsed me asking if I want anything and I called her and said,asal tak kejut org seh.....and she went...nanti kau punye siap je.HAHA.Okay I get it.

I'm left with two papers.SS is next and I'm loving it.Mathematics was a disaster.I am ready for the worse now.I am not going to cry.No,I'm not.UH SCREW O LEVELS.I knew this was coming anyway.

Why am I not excited?Its 12 am.I can't even smile.Do you ever feel like people around you have change?Maybe I am just feeling like that now.This maybe the the 2nd worst birthday.The worst was 2 year ago where I cried when dining out with my parents.haha.Give me a moment to sigh for a while......Okay.

Its my day and my sister is not around.How can she not be?Its my day.She's always there.Not like its a big deal,but just at least,be there for me?Okay the truth is,I am happy.My parents are better than ever,my brother is metal as ever,my friends are great as ever,I am great.I guess.

I am out now.I need to cry for a while.haha

Happy birthday Frank,Samaire,and me.

2008-10-30T14:10:00.002+08:00

Hey baby.

Halloween tomorrow.Tomorrow halloween.I'm going as Nabilah.Yes,that girl.
What are you going to be?
Trick or treat!

you can take my time

2008-10-26T04:21:00.004+08:00

8 months ago?

I didn't realise how my cats have grown so big and how they have change.meow?

Don't fade

2008-10-14T00:31:00.002+08:00

Sorry for those crappy posts.My life is too boring for me to type it out here.But 10 october was great.Graduation and hari raya.If I were to type out all the things that happen,I might fall asleep again on the desk.Just a sneek peek of pictures.I'm too lazy and I need to wait for more pictures.

This reminds me of 2007.D,mate tgk As......haha

I want to post all so I'll have memories here if my laptop crash.I think its going to happen soon.Oh please don't die on me baby.I guess I'll be back on 11 November or maybe Halloween or maybe 19 october or maybe...maybe I'm in love.lalalala.You know that song?I don't know.
Ciao.

Hi Faris?Hi Shah?Hi _?

2008-10-14T00:00:00.003+08:00

Ash,Sarah gave me the green light.HAHAHA.
You stick to muda yg nak kahwin tu.Like faham only.hehe

Graduation

2008-10-12T22:07:00.003+08:00

Now that I have to leave,I don't feel like I want to

Whats your name?

2008-10-06T22:11:00.004+08:00

School was a drag.I had too many stomach cramps.I hate being a girl that looks like a boy.I skip Geog class.Went to catch a movie in the afternoon with the ladies,watched The House Bunny.Hilarious.It was funny,cute and sad too.I recommend it to girls but boys can watch it to.Anna Faris body is just the zambowawa.Fucking hot.haha.
Glad I didn't wasted my 6 bucks.I know some people might be thinking like,wtf?O levels is in fucking 2 weeks and here you are watching a movie?People might think we just finished our N.haha.I wish Diyana was there too but I understand her situation.Some other time okay baby?
My Uncle and his family just went back.After years of not visiting.haha.
Okay.I need to do some studying but I will be back again blogging because I really need to rant like a bitch.Blame PMS.

2008-10-04T04:01:00.002+08:00

FUCK FUCK FUCK.
I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING BUTCH!
I WANT MY OLD HAIR ALTHOUGH IT HAS MANY SPLIT ENDS
NOW I LOOK LIKE A BOY!
WTF WTF WTF!
I AM GOING TO STEAL HANNAH MONTANA'S WIG NOW.
FUCCCKKKK.
I WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE LIKE THOSE TWO 14 YEARS OLD KIDS.
FUCKKKKKK
DIEE DIEE DIEEEEEEE
I'M NOT GOING OUT ANYMORE.ANYMOREEEEEEE!

1 october

2008-10-01T01:31:00.003+08:00

These past few days has been hectic.I keep on shifting the furniture in my room but I seem to be not satisfied.I wanted to assemble the antique bed but I had no one to help me.Yesterday,my parents and I went for hari raya clothes shopping and grocery shopping.I pick 2 simple outfits.Simple enough to go to a wedding or any Malay function.I only manage to sleep at 1pm just now and eye bags are visible now.And a pimple too.

My family went to the grave last Sunday.Everytime I go there,I feel down.Like how lucky some of you to feel the love of your grandfathers and I don't even remember it.My grandfather passed away when I was two so I don't remember the relationship we had.Diyana's uncles passed away on Sunday morning and it was a shocker.I just called her just now and glad that she's fine.
Diyana msged me some things and yes,it does make me realise something.Since Diyana's grandfather's death,she find it hard to move on and because of that,she taught me a lesson.
I've learnt to appreciate my grandmother more than usual.I got to admit,I think I use to be a spoil brat and my grandma's always favour my sister more.But now that I've grown up,I realise she treat us all the same.Shower us with all her love and concern.Diyana,thank you.You taught me to appreciate my parents and my grandma more.I hope you and your family are coping well now.I am sure your Grandpa and Uncle are watching over you guys.

I am listening to the radio,just feel like it.This hari raya song is being played while I am posting this and I can't help it but let these tears roll down.Sigh.I guess hari raya is a really good day for me to ask for forgiveness.From my parents,my grandma and my sister.I've never asked for forgiveness from her and I know I have been a bad sister.Bitching about her,hating her but still..She is still my sister and I know she loves me.So later,I hope I'll have the courage.
I'm nervous now.I tend to cry even before I could speak.Yes,I am a crybaby.haha.Now you know.

So,I guess the house is ready,my clothes are ready,my shoes are high.haha.Thanks Amira for accompanying me.Wedges.Bleargh.I hope I don't trip.

Can I just wear my sneakers?Seriously....haha

Selamat hari raya,maaf zahir dan batin.

I would like to apologise to everyone whose hurt from what I said to them in person or maybe here.I tend to say things I don't mean and be really catty.Maafkanlah aku,insan yang tak termaya ini.
HEHEHE.

2008-09-27T21:21:00.004+08:00

First of all,I would like to apologise to Saiful and Razmeer.I couldn't wake up and I was broke.Next time okay suckers?haha.My mum and I are busy redecorating this house.I found lots of old pictures.I am too lazy to scan all so there's only two.Its right below.Haha.

I miss being a kid.Being able to spend my parents money,celebrate birthdays at Bintan,going to the beach with them,having breakfast together and stuff.I wish I could go back in time just to really feel the enjoyment again.

Okay,curtains time.Haha.I'm getting excited and sad at the same time.Don't ask.

This both pictures were taken at Bintan.My Dad worked there last time so we kinda get to go there for free every week.haha.Sigh

I fucking want this hair again.

My brother....hahaha.Metal okay.

Another cup to make me sober

2008-09-23T05:59:00.004+08:00

Its 5.49am and I have not sleep since I got back from nowhere to now here.HAHA.It meant to be funny.Guru Pikka taught me that.Sorry,I tend to get cranky when I don't sleep and drink a lot of thick black coffee.I tried to study just now,you know..burning the midnight oil?Yeah but I couldn't do it.My mind was elsewhere.Someone far from my sight and near to my heart.How does that sound?Malay much?haha.

A few hours earlier,I was stressing about my hair.My bestest best of the best friend said I should cut my fringe while my feeling feeling John Tucker friend said my hair looks perfectly fine now.
I think I need my sister's opinion,which actually isn't any use because I eventually listen to my friends.Of course my sister's the priority but I don't like her opinions.haha.My granny is back to her home.And me?Alone again.With no companion.I sound like I need TLC.haha.Diyana taught me that just now.Okay,not necessary.

I shifted my bed,the matress,vacuumed my room,wipe the walls(wtf?),watched the boring Emmy awards.Dude....school!Ergh...I hate it.Self revisions and blablabla.Freaking 2 hours of art.Which is huge waste of my time.I think I should skip school again.No wait,Ms Tasneem threaten to bomb my house if I don't go to school.Hi Miss Tasneem?Bomb?Haha

Uh...I'm lazy to have a shower.Can I just go to school with my PJs?
Damn,my phone's alarm is a nuisance.Fine,I'll go now.
Goodmornight?

"youuuuu....are the only one who can save me"

2008-09-20T20:05:00.002+08:00

I went to school on Friday(at last).Did some science and maths.Most of the times,we were taking silly pictures which I turn into a GIF image.haha.Its kind of funny.Okay,it is funny.haha.
We all laugh so hard yesterday.I actually enjoy it.I am just taking a break from these papers.Maths...physics all around me..I can feel you all around me.Uh okay.I'll stop.
Go on,have a good laugh.

HAHAHA!

2008-09-19T00:17:00.003+08:00

I stayed at home today.I did my maths homework.Flip through physics.Took a nap.Eat.Watch TV.Talk.Blog.
Okay.You're getting bored.

I know you might be getting nightmares at midnight because of the above pictures,I am sorry.I was doing Math and the camera was right infront me.I just had to snap a pic of me looking like that.haha.To be honest,I've got nothing to say except that,I DON'T LIKE SHARING.
Now that my sister is back,I have to share the bed,hear her hogging on the phone,need to tolerate with her bitchyness.Sister's way.

I'm done here.I just need a reason to blog.Like I always do.
Oh Nicholas,my french boy.Je suis amoureux de toi

Au revoir

Love of my life

2008-09-14T17:22:00.005+08:00

My sister in law,my nephew and niece break fast at my house yesterday.My mum cooked her speciality,sabsuka.I couldn't remember what we did after that but I know I was happy.This is why I love weekends.My brother family would come over my place and I would feel like I have a great family.But today is going to be so much better.My sister is back at Tampines since she land herself a job at my old workplace which was near to our home.And today,my sister in law is cooking for us so they would be coming here again.Finally,all my family members are here.I don't remember the last time the 9 of us had dinner together or do anything together.Yes,I am happy because of that.You may think its just a minor thing but to me,its not.After all these years of almost being torn apart,we are finally back.

Yesterday while I was doing my English homework,my mum suddenly asked,
"Have you seen any changes in your dad lately?"
"Yes,he's not that moody and hot-tempered like he use to be"
"Working at mosque has changed him"
"I know!And I like it"

Haha.Sometimes,change is good.I hope he stays like this.We stay like this.They're happy,I'm happy.Thats all I need.Oh,friends too of course.
I love you girls and boys.And just because I flirt with girls,doesn't mean I like them.
hahaha.

I was just reading an email just now.I thought it was just some email that people keep forwarding but no,it was a real email.From a friend.I was touched by what she said.I feel appreciated.

Tell me why I shouldn't be?haha.Oh my god,I am really happy.
I love fasting month.

Shower time stinky.Bye.

2008-09-14T02:51:00.005+08:00

I went to break fast with my friends yesterday at Simpang Bedok.Never gets old huh?We went off to Geylang after that which is such a waste of time and energy.The crowd and people makes me uneasy.Geylang is just the same.Nothing different actually.Oh,we saw Aliff Aziz yesterday.I know it may be no biggie for you but if Shikin was there,I think she would be shouting like a mad girl.haha.I mean,who doesn't?If your idol is right infront of you...hmm..Mikey?hehe.
We end up going back to tampines and just hang out at Starbucks.No more going out.O level =(

I still cannot get over the conversation I had yesterday.

Sarah:I bought a top from mango yest for 60.So preeetttaayyy.
Nabs:woah!expensive!
Ace:So you bought a top made of mango?
Nabs:HAHAHA!WTF!
Ash:hahaha
Sarah:Whats so funny?
Nabs:A top..from Mango.Get it?
Sarah:OH!!hahaha

Hahaha.And just now,Don's cousin was making me laugh like hell.
"Don bodoh nak mampos babi ah"
Haha.Imagine a white guy saying a malay phrase.It was so funny and he kept repeating.Ash and I was laughing all the way.haha.These people make my day.Really.

I'm off now.and I am happy.Thank you.

2008-09-12T16:03:00.002+08:00

6 hours of detention?I say,AWESOME.haha.
6 hours is not enough.Mr Ee should give me more.
Uh.okay.Simpang Bedok tonight?
Turn my frown upside down,guys.
Tshirt and jeans is my boyfriend.Saving that dress for another day.
HAHAHAHA.Okay,not funny.
Bye

Sleepless nights again

2008-09-09T02:09:00.001+08:00

Its only been a day and a few hours and the tinging pain is still lingering.I am still trying to accept the fact that the girl I love like my own family is gone,forever.Although none of our blood flow through each other veins,I love all of you like my own.I always feel flattered when you all said my sister and I are your family.Truly,I am.I know everyone is trying hard to move on,even I am trying to.I cannot sleep without thinking of what has happen.Every time I look at those pictures,tears would cloud my eye.I didn't even get to play with you for the last time.It must be hard on Kak Lidia's family now.I wish I could be there for them but I can't.

I am trying hard to sleep from just now.Talking to Saiful and Faris wasn't much help.They were just yakking about their girls.All I had to do was gave them advices which I know they wouldn't even care about.But then again,who am I to give advice to people when I can't even take care of myself?I can't even do a simple task like folding the clothes and put them in my drawer.And now that Granny's coming over,I need to throw some stuff away for her space.(No,I am not complaining that she'll be here.I am actually really happy that I have someone to talk to.No more cat talks) My O levels is in like 40 plus days.I'm too lazy to count.Barely than 2 months.I am still struggling with Maths and Science.I find it pointless to cry when I can't do it because crying will only waste my energy and my time.I need to work harder.Yes,I know.

School's in a few hours and I am still here.Typing out things that has been wandering in my mind.I need to be in school since I skip school today.I was too tired and I look like a wreck.Well,I am quite OK now but not literally.Just OK.I am still trying to be my usual self but I end up sitting alone in my room,staring at the ceiling and wonder what would I do if something like that were to happen to my family.I want to be in someone else shoes just to feel the pang but at the same time,I wish I didn't even think about it.Life can be cruel sometimes but like what they say,life goes on.

I hope everyone at CCK is dealing okay.I wish I could be there.I am sorry.

I know she's still there.I am sure.

You're gone and I couldn't even say goodbye

2008-09-07T02:51:00.003+08:00

Dear Syaza,Wak will always remember you forever.I will miss your laughter and how you would banter me.I will miss your 'WAK NABILAH!' when I come over to your house.I will miss your hugs.I will miss how you would persuade me to sleepover your house.I will miss everything Syaza.
Why did you had to go?I didn't even get to see you.I miss you.Why?You were so young.
You will always be in my heart.Semoga rohmu dicucuri rahmat.Amin.

Love,
Wak Nabilah

I am happy,really

2008-09-07T01:15:00.002+08:00

I went to Granny's today since no one was at home.Oh what a feeling.I love her.She's going to stay over my place for fasting month.Can someone say HURRAH?My sister still being a bitch.Like you don't know Nabilah.

This one week holiday is a waste.Spending my night talking to friends on msn.Massive chats makes me giddy and excited.Right now,I'm talking to these 4 guys and they can't stop bitching about girls!Hello?Girl here...remember?haha.I think I'm going to be gay soon if this goes on.I am going to talk like a guy,go gaga over hot girls and check out myspace sluts.WOOHOO.Can somebody answer the phone?Right.

I miss my friends.I bet you guys miss me too right?I know.THANKS!hahaha.
One more day to school day and atrocious prelim results.Get ready to be nag and mock at.Wait,I am so use to that bitches.

OKAY.Back to guys talk.LOL.LMAO.ROFL.

2008-09-04T15:25:00.002+08:00

Hot?Maybe uhhh to you but still hot hot to me.Wait Gee,wheres your brother? =(

I am being a wastrel this past few days.Just sitting at home,disturbing my cats,peeing every hour,sleeping only after sunrise,try to do maths and science,webcamming late at night,having mass conversation with those douchebags,complain about life to friends.Speaking of friends,
I just had a dream about you girls.Guess I am missing you.haha.I am just finding a reason to blog and Gee's new hairdo make me blog so yeah,bye.

Au revoir

2008-09-02T14:08:00.005+08:00

September is making me restless.Especially its the fasting month.I should probably sing Green Day's wake me up when september ends now.Fasting month is so different this.Like last year,we would always break fast at the bazaar with lots of people,sharing food and laughters but now,I hear nothing.How time flies.O level's is getting really near.The N level has started if I'm not wrong.Goodluck to those taking N.I am so bored now.Funny how I don't get hungry or crave for a smoke.Thank you ALLAH for everything you've gave me.Shower my family and friends with your love.Protect them too.Amin.

TEACHER'S DAY -_-