Yesterday,Dainah's dad fetch her from Diyana's block and I tag along as we live near.
I felt jealous cos her dad asked her what she ate,what she did and stuff.
I just feel like I never had that conversation with my dad.
Maybe working overseas had strain our communication and relationship.
I don't remember the last time I had a good talk with you.
And I miss my mum.She's changed.She would get angry with me and sis for no reason.
She wasn't like this last time.She never asked how I'm doing in school nor in life.
Its hurts cos u never gave any encouraging words.Both of you didn't.
I need those words.I need your support.
It seems like you've given up on me.
Your words sometimes hurt me so bad that it feels like someone squeezed my heart and won't let go.I don't know why but I just felt like letting it out.
Sometimes,I feel like a stranger living in someone's else house.
Only if my sister is around,then I'll feel at home.
Maybe I complain too much but all I want is words that will make me feel better.
I want to be like you dad.I want to make you proud.
I'm sorry if I'm a failure.
I'm sorry if I don't do my part as a good daughter.
I'm sorry if I ever hated you or mum.
I really love you guys but I'm too proud to say it.
Maybe because I'm scared.
I'm scared that what I want to hear won't be heard.
I'm turbid by my own feelings.
My feelings trying to manipulate me.
What was I suppose to do?
=(