You don't predict it,you just watch it happen

Thinking..still thinking.Consequences.Yes,they happen.No one knows its going to happen nor assume it will.I am sorry.We are sorry to cause you innocents trouble.It was a fatuous side of us.But deprecate us harshly was really,heartbreaking?I don't know.Just like a pang in your heart when she shouted "I DON'T CARE!".All their hard work and sweats,just gone like that?Wow..fuckity wow.I admit,there were some of us who make mistake by doing 'that' but at least have the heart to let the others to go on with their show.I cannot explain their enthusiasm for this.They're like committed to it whole-heartedly.Using their precious time to make it work.I mean,come on..we are humans and to err is human.So as a human,we shouldn't be inhumane.You feel me?At least the 5 of us admitted our mistakes.Never in my secondary school life have I feel the power of teamwork like this.Staying put together and defending your other schoolmates.I salute Nabeel for standing up for the others.I really do.Although she berate at him throughout the conversation,he still stood up for them and even if his words were rude,I guess he was just really angry and word vomit came.Actually,I've been thinking the whole day after the incident.Whats going to happen to them,me,us?And will the show go on or all those work will go to waste?All I can do is sigh.

And now,I can't stop thinking of whats going to happen if my parents were to find out.I am not terrified of the fact that I might get a scolding and nag but the thought of how disappointing I can be is like a tape playing in my mind.I have cause so much trouble this year.Ask my close friends.Seeing my Mum crying because of me and my Dad still in the dark of what I did.But its over and done with and now,this had to happen.Perfect.Fucking perfect.I don't know what to do with me.Slap myself or just kill myself.Not like I'm in a gang with all my sister lup or brother lup and being 'fanatic' but you know,the feeling when you let your parents down?Yeah,feeling it right now.I guess what my Dad said was true.They can never depend or put hopes on neither of us.Just when I thought I could prove him wrong,I created trouble of my own doing.Why Nabilah why?I know to some of you,you think its just a juvenile matter but to me,no.I am such a letdown.I am,I am.I don't get myself sometimes.I need to do some soul searching.Maybe next week's one week break might help.And books too.Sigh.DAMN!Grease song is going to make me tear up.I better stop before I do.


We'll always be together as wa-wa-wa-one.