Sleepless nights again

Its only been a day and a few hours and the tinging pain is still lingering.I am still trying to accept the fact that the girl I love like my own family is gone,forever.Although none of our blood flow through each other veins,I love all of you like my own.I always feel flattered when you all said my sister and I are your family.Truly,I am.I know everyone is trying hard to move on,even I am trying to.I cannot sleep without thinking of what has happen.Every time I look at those pictures,tears would cloud my eye.I didn't even get to play with you for the last time.It must be hard on Kak Lidia's family now.I wish I could be there for them but I can't.

I am trying hard to sleep from just now.Talking to Saiful and Faris wasn't much help.They were just yakking about their girls.All I had to do was gave them advices which I know they wouldn't even care about.But then again,who am I to give advice to people when I can't even take care of myself?I can't even do a simple task like folding the clothes and put them in my drawer.And now that Granny's coming over,I need to throw some stuff away for her space.(No,I am not complaining that she'll be here.I am actually really happy that I have someone to talk to.No more cat talks) My O levels is in like 40 plus days.I'm too lazy to count.Barely than 2 months.I am still struggling with Maths and Science.I find it pointless to cry when I can't do it because crying will only waste my energy and my time.I need to work harder.Yes,I know.

School's in a few hours and I am still here.Typing out things that has been wandering in my mind.I need to be in school since I skip school today.I was too tired and I look like a wreck.Well,I am quite OK now but not literally.Just OK.I am still trying to be my usual self but I end up sitting alone in my room,staring at the ceiling and wonder what would I do if something like that were to happen to my family.I want to be in someone else shoes just to feel the pang but at the same time,I wish I didn't even think about it.Life can be cruel sometimes but like what they say,life goes on.

I hope everyone at CCK is dealing okay.I wish I could be there.I am sorry.

I know she's still there.I am sure.